On New Years Eve I ended up spending the evening alone. I don't know if spending New Year's Eve alone is supposed to say something about the state of my life, but in this case it was exactly what was meant to be; another one of those serendipitous moments that happen to you and you have no idea at the time that a little miracle is in the working.
I was quite content to spend some time alone and as I drank my champagne I decided to watch a movie. The movie that I chose was "The Words", a story of a writer who had writer's block! I loved the movie, because it touched on Paris in the 40's, and I had just finished reading the book, "The Paris Wife", which is a biography of Ernest Hemingway's life, and that book coupled with the fact that I had just watched the movie, "Midnight in Paris", for the second time made me enjoy this movie even more.
At the very end of the movie, the woman asks the man, "What is it that you really want?" and the movie ended without him answering. I sat there thinking about the last time I heard that question, it was Oprah who was telling the singer Rhiana, that what everyone wants in life is love, to love someone and to be loved, and that is what everyone is searching for in life, and makes us all do what we do.
Then it dawned on me, of course, that's it, that is what the background of my book has to be about, it has to have the basis of wanting to find love, searching the world for love in whatever I do, whether I know it or not at the time, that is the backbone of what life and my story is all about.
I was so excited to finally find my "reason" to write, the one thing that would allow my story to be told.
I started writing that night and kept writing with that message always looming in the back of my mind for the reason I am telling my story.
Of course one of the lines in my story is, "I sat alone on New Year's Eve, 2 months' short of my 50th Birthday."