Today I went to our local Budhist temple for the first time. I loved it! Mostly because the monk who taught us was absolutely hilarious! He was so happy and full of humour that he had us all laughing. Everything that he said made perfect sense to me, a couple of times after he rambled on for awhile, he looked at me and asked if he was making sense or not! I confirmed that yes, he was making perfect sense, and he laughed and joked that he never knows if he does or not, he said for all he knows he could be going crazy and not make sense at at!
The temple was gorgeous, full of red and gold and purple. It was a full house. We were the first to arrive, as we walked around the temple 3 times before entering. My friend showed me how to bow 3 times to Budha and then we set ourselves down on pillows and made ourselves comfortable. I brought my fuzzy blanket to wrap around me to keep me warm, as well as keeping my chenile scarf around my neck. I sat right across from the monk and looked into his eyes as he spoke. He had me smiling the whole hour.
The message we went home with today was to be content within ourselves, love yourself so that you can help others. Makes perfect sense to me.
The other message was to face the negativity in our lives face on and ask why we have that negative feeling. Don't run away from it or ignore it, ask yourself what it is that makes you feel that negative feeling and then get rid of it when we discover why our ego has that feeling.
The morning ended all too soon, I wanted to sit there and listen to him all day. I asked my girlfriend if he is always there, she said he is here only for awhile before he heads back to Tibet, so I'm going to take advantage of his visit and go and see him as often as possible.

On New Years Eve I ended up spending the evening alone. I don't know if spending New Year's Eve alone is supposed to say something about the state of my life, but in this case it was exactly what was meant to be; another one of those serendipitous moments that happen to you and you have no idea at the time that a little miracle is in the working.
I was quite content to spend some time alone and as I drank my champagne I decided to watch a movie. The movie that I chose was "The Words", a story of a writer who had writer's block! I loved the movie, because it touched on Paris in the 40's, and I had just finished reading the book, "The Paris Wife", which is a biography of Ernest Hemingway's life, and that book coupled with the fact that I had just watched the movie, "Midnight in Paris", for the second time made me enjoy this movie even more.
At the very end of the movie, the woman asks the man, "What is it that you really want?" and the movie ended without him answering. I sat there thinking about the last time I heard that question, it was Oprah who was telling the singer Rhiana, that what everyone wants in life is love, to love someone and to be loved, and that is what everyone is searching for in life, and makes us all do what we do.
Then it dawned on me, of course, that's it, that is what the background of my book has to be about, it has to have the basis of wanting to find love, searching the world for love in whatever I do, whether I know it or not at the time, that is the backbone of what life and my story is all about.
I was so excited to finally find my "reason" to write, the one thing that would allow my story to be told.
I started writing that night and kept writing with that message always looming in the back of my mind for the reason I am telling my story.
Of course one of the lines in my story is, "I sat alone on New Year's Eve, 2 months' short of my 50th Birthday."